I remember my favorite word from when I was about 7-years-old was “why” with a resounding question mark at the end of it.
I also remember my family’s response to my constant use of my favorite word “would you PLEASE stop asking WHY!”
Why is still one of my favorite words, alongside onomatopoeia and phenomenon, and I say it frequently. As a coach, it is often the most useful tool to get to the bottom of something… a feeling or maybe an action.
Let’s talk for a few minutes about coaching, what it is, what it isn’t and why it’s so powerful.
Coaching is curiosity and interest… on behalf of the coach, in regards to the client. This is where the questions begin…. The what, why and how of the client’s ideas, perspectives, thought processes, approaches to life, business and relationships.
Coaching is challenging those ideas, perspectives, motivators and understanding the big picture.
Coaching is problem solving, often with out of-the-box solutions and ideas. It’s seeing the solution because we are standing outside the problem, with a different perspective.
Coaching is being a sounding board and an accountability partner with an unbiased, authentic, honest opinion. We are the not “YES” people, so if you need one of those, seek elsewhere.
Finally, we are the builder of people. We help people find themselves so that they may love and appreciate themselves again. We remind them of the amazing, unique, individuals they truly are, and all the wonderful things they have to contribute to the world, with the single hope they will impact another human on their journey to greatness.
We are not consultants! (unless we chose to be) What this means is, we are here to teach you and to guide you… we are not here to do it for you. Studies show that the vast majority of adults retain more information through the actual experience of something rather than learning the same concept in a classroom. Coaching is action!
We are not therapists! The primary focus of therapy is backwards… to your past. Coaching is forward, future thinking. We fully understand that things from your past will creep in and need to be addressed, but we don’t dwell on it. We consider it a challenge that needs attention, and methods of management, but we don’t wallow, dissect or diagnose in it. Coaches will suggest therapy if the situation deems it or the challenge is outside our scope, but therapy and coaching certainly aren’t the same.
Like I said above, adults learn by doing, especially through the problem solving that comes along with the process. It’s the perfect example of give a man a fish, vs. teach him to fish.
It’s a mind game. A coach will challenge your ideals and make you rethink the situation. A coach will ask you to pay attention to the thoughts and feelings that drive your actions and decision, they will challenge the conversation in your head about everything from why you wore blue today, to why you think a certain way about yourself or others.
It is an intimate, trust based relationship where each person is allowed to be vulnerable in an effort to learn and grow, and coaches take this responsibility very seriously!
The statistics on coaching show how powerful coaching is, from significant increases in confidence, productivity, relationships, communication work/life balance, work performance, time management, conflict resolution and even monetary return on investment.
But why am I a coach? I think it takes a certain type of person to be an effective coach. Some personality qualities include: curiosity of others, honesty/authenticity, and a service heart. I BELIEVE coaching is a powerful tool for change and I take that responsibility very seriously. Finally, I enjoy building people up and being part of their success story ? and it gives me the rare opportunity to use my favorite word, without reservation, as often as I’d like!
