Renowned businessman Jim Rohn once said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.” Why is this? And why is it so important? And what are the criteria for choosing the people we surround ourselves with?
So, let’s start at the beginning…
Why are we the average of the five people we spend the most time with? It’s called the proximity effect. We mirror the habits of our friends, associates, and family members. When we are growing up we look to the habits of our parents and siblings to show us how to behave, make decisions, and interact.
As adults, we seek the guidance of others so that we gain wisdom from various social groups, work environments, and business relationships. When we are unsure of the rules of relationships, we look to the actions and preferences of our partners to guide us on how to be a better mate. Our brain is wired to make correlations between things. In this instance, the connection is between thoughts, behaviors, and actions.
Why is this important?
Well first, it depends on where you want to go in life. Next, it depends on how headstrong you are in getting there. If you want to make a million dollars next year and you surround yourself with people that can’t even fathom making $100,000, much less a million, and think your goal is ridiculous and unattainable, that’s going to be a problem!
To reach your goal you must believe in reaching it stronger than anything else on this planet, including the ceaseless opinions of your friends. The opinions of our friends and family members are important to us. We communicate with them often, so some of their habits become our habits and often their mindset becomes our mindset. Are these habits and mindsets going to help you get where you need to go? I ask because big goals require a big commitment to the work it takes in accomplishing them! Which brings us to,
What are the criteria for choosing people for which we surround ourselves?
Depending on your goal you will most likely need individuals who believe in possibility, abundance, gratitude, and hard work. Aiming high when setting your goals is one thing, but it’s the work to get there that takes everything you’ve got. In doing so you’re going to need all the support you can find. Seek people that believe in you and support your efforts.
Also, you may look for a person that has been successful in the field you are in or for which your goal is centered. With this in mind, if you want to be a successful business owner, join groups of other like-minded business owners. If you want to live the country-club life, frequent and make friends at a country club, even just a day a week until you can afford to join. Find groups of like-minded, positive, abundance seeking people that will share their stories with you so you can learn.
The key is to find the people that believe in you, not people that hold you back and just want to sit around watching Netflix all day complaining of how unfair the world is. Contact someone successful in your field and ask if they will be accountability partners or mentors to you.
Your world is what you make of it and no man or woman is self-made!
